i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
