Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
