But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
