This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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