she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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