Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
