Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?