just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist