My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
