i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
