The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
