The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
