Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
