Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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