I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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