you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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