its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He felt like a one man threesome
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
