brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
