The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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