I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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