So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
