Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize