If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
