So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
