2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
