He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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