The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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