Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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