It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
