singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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