my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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