You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
