does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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