i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
