I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
