Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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