is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just tell him i said nine months
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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