Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
don't judge my taste in strippers
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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