she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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