You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
he was CRYING into my vagina
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.