her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
