Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
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