Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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