She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
