i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
