I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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