Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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