Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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