apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
