After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
