Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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