i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
