I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks