Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You're like the curious george of whores
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.