I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Swine flu. Run for my life!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
