He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
