i jhust puked up my retainher.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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