Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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