i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
