Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
