But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
