I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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