her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You're like the curious george of whores
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
