pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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