my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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