New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
