we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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