there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
