Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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