My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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