I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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