I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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