normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
